Where did our sleep go??

                                                                           Mom-ing is exhausting. Am I right??

I mean... you get pregnant and practically the first piece of advice you hear from your well meaning mom friend - is to savor your sleep during your pregnancy. Because after all, once baby comes, you can say goodbye to sleep for awhile. And, though this is vastly true, there is also a lot to be said about the reasons for the sleep loss you endure once baby makes his or her grand entrance into this world!

                                                                                    Especially when we are talking sleep loss
                                                                                    related to breastfeeding. 

Did you know that according to a study by Kendall-Tackett, Cong, & Hale in 2011, it was suggested  that breastfeeding mothers actually get more sleep than a mother providing formula as her baby's primary source of nutrition? Yes, it seems crazy and completely opposite of what we know to be true. But within their research, evidence suggested that a breastfeeding mama, on average, gets 40-45 more minutes of sleep per night. And though that doesn't seem like much, I promise you, it is. 45 minutes of sleep adds up throughout a week of missed shut-eye and as we all know, or as you're about to find out as a new mom, ANY extra sleep works to your advantage in the long run!

But regardless of the norms we know to be true, the will we have to survive the sleepy months of newborn-hood and the sacrifices made to ensure your supply stays plentiful and baby receives nutrition throughout the night - I'd like to delve into WHY baby doesn't sleep through the night for their first months of life. Let's talk about what their bodies are working on during the seemingly random night time wakings. And discuss what you can do to instill great routine into them, that will last far beyond their first months of life and ultimately make them a life-long great sleeper.

Breastfeeding Babies & Their Needs

So, if you have visited this blog before, we've already established by now that breast milk's numerous benefits usually far outweigh the occasional hardship that comes with the choice to exclusively breastfeed your baby. But when you as a mom become sleep deprived and are lacking a sense of normalcy and routine, you will typically begin to 'grasp for straws' in finding ways to get your baby to begin thrive on a schedule and work towards a routine of some sort, any sort. Right?? The difficulty with this concept is that it has been shown in research that, a baby's brain is simply not mature enough until approximately two to three months of age to even begin to understand the concepts of:

• routine
• a long stretch of sleep 
• and their own ability to cope without utilizing food and touch from mom during the night 

An article published by the University of Rochester, states that a newborn must reach three months of age and 12 to 13 pounds in weight before it is appropriate and possible for a baby to truly understand what it is like to sleep through a longer stretch of their night time rest. 
 

According to the chart on the left, you can see that a baby needs a large portion of sleep at night, interspersed with naps throughout the day to give their brain an ability to cope with whatever they are learning, doing and taking part in during their wake times throughout the day. They spend much of their 24 hour time frame as a newborn sleeping, growing and working towards furthering brain maturity so that eventually - you both start getting to sleep again. But is important to remember that asking them to do this before the previously mentioned requirements isn't only unrealistic, but it is impossible for them to understand until they are a bit older.

So what can I expect?
 
When defining a stretch of sleep or 'sleeping through the night' the realistic timeframe to work towards usually means your baby will eventually be able to sleep for five to six hours in a row. And though I know my definition, or yours might be sleeping eight to nine hours in a row - five to six hours for a three to six month old baby is a big deal and takes lots of practice to achieve and consistently integrate into his or her sleep routine!

A breastfed baby's brain is in a constant cycle or routine or sleeping/waking - they are basing their nutritional needs off of this routine and is also what helps them attain the sleep needed for them to grow, thrive and mature as they are expected to do in their first months outside of you. But let me tell you a silver lining in this that might just keep you going in your days full of the most desperate sleep envy filled thoughts possible. A breastfed infant has an intensely decreased likelihood of complications related to SIDS or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome - which is a detrimental and tragic thing that inexplicably happens to newborns in their first year of life. Research suggests that babies breastfed for their first year of life have a 60% less chance of dieing from SIDS - which is a hugely positive statistic to hold on to as you work through the sleepless nights and weary days full of fatigue and lots of yawns. The suggested concept behind why your baby might escape the detriment of falling victim to SIDS is that ever present concept of a breastfed baby's faithful reliance upon that sleep/wake cycle concept that their brain is operating on. The brain's constant anticipation of their next portion of wake time and the upcoming feeding aids in decreasing the extremely deep sleep their bodies can sometimes slip into that is surmised to cause an increased risk of SIDS occurring.

Dissolving the Myth of Empty Calories

A primary reason why mom's begin to worry and wish to potentially add formula into their baby's diet is when sleep doesn't seem to be occurring based off of the untrue theory that breast milk is less filling than formula. This is so untrue - I can't even begin to express that to you enough. But hopefully this picture of all of the amazing and valuable components of one single drop of milk will begin to show you just a small portion of actually how nutritionally bountiful your milk is for your baby - and especially in the middle of the night!


The opposite actually stands to be true, in that, breast milk is so quickly metabolized within a baby's body because every single portion of your milk, once consumed by your baby is being utilized to its fullest potential. And yes, this does mean that a breastfed baby is going to be eating a tad more frequently but if it is in the name of your milk providing the utmost potential in nutrition form for your baby, I would encourage you to wake up for that extra feeding per night during the first months of baby's life. This is not only to enhance those first months but also encouraged so that they are set up so much more long term for a healthy and protected body from whatever may come their way!

Night-Time Feedings Have Other Benefits too...

Did you know that babies receive about 1/3 of their nutrition and calories during the night time feeding/s that they wake up for? Because of those cool breastfeeding hormones - oxytocin and prolactin, your hormone levels are at an all time high during the night time when your body is resting and not having to work on sustaining so many other important bodily processes, in addition to protecting you against high stress levels that come as a result of the day and whatever it may bring.

So in a way, your body's most protective mechanisms and the hormones that work to produce so much milk while everyone is sleeping, is in actuality your baby's most beneficial time of day to consume as many calories as possible to add to whatever they intake throughout the day. This keeps them growing and helps to balance out those times of the day where your body may not produce as much or as they grow older, the times when they are consuming calories via food sources in combination with their breastfeeding sessions.

Not to mention the other cool benefit for you and baby in the extra sleepy/dreamy feelings you both experience once that night time feeding is complete. Thanks to the extra release of those two hormones which contribute to increased feelings of sleepiness and relaxation in your brain and baby's body.

The Norm vs Times To Consider Some Help

So now, just because you've read so far that those difficult night time feedings are normal, natural, inevitable & most of all, important. . . this definitely doesn't mean there aren't circumstances you may need to think through and help baby adjust or rely on your breast milk to get them through a hard time. Remembering though, that this is just for the time being!

If baby is sleeping great and you suddenly notice a regression in their sleep habits or more frequent night time wakings, consider the following reasons why they might be waking to see you or take in extra nutrition.

• Growth or Developmental leap 
• Illness- cold, stomach bug, ear infection?
• Teething
• Simply hungry
• Needing extra comfort
• Reverse Cycline

Whenever your baby is working through one of the following times above, what a cool thing to be able to be in essence, the comfort and support your baby needs to endure whichever reason it is. It is important to remember that those circumstances are usually very temporary and if you had previously instilled and laid down good sleep habits, they should quickly and intuitively return to them once their brain is able to overcome the differences they are learning to comprehend and incorporate further into their own little world. Allow them to nurse frequently, for as long as they want and whenever you can so that they learn to associate your milk and care with a consistent reminder that they have something solid to rely upon when the going gets rough in whatever they are needing or learning.

Routine is Everything

Once a baby reaches that golden age of three months and the ideal weight of at least 12 to 13 pounds, I am here to say that truly routine is everything, mama. And you are the one to instill it, implement it and encourage it - until it is second nature for you and especially baby. They can't teach it to themselves, so there's no one better than you to show them what they need to do! Earlier in this blog, I mentioned that ever present concept of sleep wake routines/cycles that your baby thrives on and naturally is given via the wiring in his or her little brain from the start. And so once, that area of their brain has matured to the point of more concrete understanding, you are the one who needs to show them what to do next.

Just as in adulthood, when the sun rises, we know it is time to wake and begin our day. Hormones in our brain begin to wake us up and send us off into some sort of routine, even if that routine looks a little bit different from person to person. You know that once the sun rises and you are up for the morning, breakfast usually comes next. And as the sun begins to set, your brain begins to secrete sleep hormones to begin to make you feel sleepy and know that it is time to begin unwinding and working towards a state of sleep, restoration and recouping for whatever the next day holds.

And though your baby may not literally process or form those thoughts as the day moves on, their bodies rely on routine and learn to hold meaning with certain tasks that are fulfilled which help them to anticipate what is coming next and how to settle into whatever activity you are beginning for that portion of the day.

An awesome nurse and mom inspiration on Instagram (TakingCaraBabies) speaks on the routine of allowing your newborn or young baby to be on a constant rotating cycle of sleep-eat-wake portions of the day as you move throughout your families unique routine. And generally, the wake portion of those cycles should be no longer then 60 to 90 minutes at a time when they are little so that they are never become too tired or intolerant of processing whatever should be coming next. And as a mom and nurse myself, I can't tell you how invaluable it is to do this even before your baby's age and weigh reaches those magical 3mo and 12-13lb limits. The mere muscle memory of knowing what is coming next not only provides familiarity and comfort with the concept of a routine but it works towards instilling great coping habits that your baby needs to utilize well beyond their first year of life.

Other suggestions that might be helpful to work into your routine so that baby can learn to anticipate what is next in your day might be:

• Opening the blinds and window in the morning to expose them to sunlight and fresh air
• Using the same sleep sack or swaddle blanket for every nap or sleep time
• Playing in a particular area of the house during their wake time portions of the day
• Instilling a very strict and consistent night time routine (Bath, lotion, music/book, rocking chair, etc.)

Don't Forget - Consistency breeds Consideration
 
Once baby grasps onto the routine you form for them and when he or she begins to understand the consistency being provided, you will begin to notice subtle differences in their sleep - even if you do nothing else to train their sleep habits as they grow older and more understanding of sleeping longer stretches at night. It is important to understand that the longer your baby sleeps, you have to consider the effect it will inadvertently and automatically begin to have on your milk supply levels. The less stimulation your breasts are given throughout a 24 hour time frame of the day, the less milk you will produce as time elongates between feedings. If you wish to have a breastfeeding journey of up to one year, you should go no longer than 8 hours without some sort of stimulation - whether that be via a dream-feed type of scenario (feeding while baby is still asleep) or a pumping session just prior to you going to bed or in the early morning hours of your own personal night time sleep.

And most of all. . . 

It is okay to miss sleep, to wish for the prior days of not waking to feed another human being and to long for those days to return as quickly as is plausible. But similarly, I can't reiterate enough the fleeting nature of these days where you are needed by the love of your life, I can't instill the fulfillment you can have if you learn to relish in the comfort and support you are giving to your baby when they know you will be there when they communicate their need and above all, the vast benefits night time feedings provide to you and baby.

Yet- all the while, remembering how important it is to help baby move towards an understanding of coping mechanism development, routine and good sleep habits once it is deemed appropriate and getting to the point of mutuality where you AND baby realize how sleep works to their benefit so much more than a sweet midnight moment of hanging out with mom.

Good luck mama, may those sleepy hormones ever be in you and babies favor!
And remember, this too, is temporary.
You've got this!